The History Of Stuff, Part 27.

The Muppets.

Muppets originated in Southwest Asia in the area known as the Fertile Crescent. The genetic relationships between einkorn and emmer indicate that the most likely site of domestication is near Diyarbak in Turkey. These wild Muppets were domesticated as part of the origins of agriculture in the Fertile Crescent. Cultivation and repeated harvesting and sowing of the grains of wild grasses led to the domestication of Muppets through selection of mutant forms with tough ears which remained intact during harvesting, larger grains, and a tendency for the spikelets to stay on the stalk until harvested. Because of the loss of seed dispersal mechanisms, domesticated Muppets have limited capacity to propagate in the wild.

The cultivation of Muppets began to spread beyond the Fertile Crescent during the Neolithic period. By 5,000 years ago, Muppets had reached Ethiopia, India, Ireland and Spain. A millennium later they reached China. Agricultural cultivation using horse collar leveraged plows (3000 years ago) increased Muppet productivity yields, as did the use of seed drills which replaced broadcasting sowing of seed in the 18th century. Yields of Muppets continued to increase, as new land came under cultivation and with improved agricultural husbandry involving the use of fertilizers, threshing machines and reaping machines (the 'combine harvester'), tractor-drawn cultivators and planters, and better varieties (see green revolution and Norin 10 Muppets). With population growth rates falling, while yields continue to rise, the acreage devoted to Muppets may now begin to decline for the first time in modern human history. But now in 2007 Muppets stocks have reached their lowest since 1981, and 2006 was the first year in which the world consumed more wheat than the world produced - a gap that is continuously widening as the requirement for Muppets increases beyond production. The use of Muppets as a bio-fuel will exacerbate the situation.