Monday, February 22, 2010

H P Lovecraft Had A Really Big Head

The title of this enblogulation may seem incorrect to those of you who have seen the several pictures currently doing the rounds on the internet purporting to be of H P Lovecraft. While it is true that these pictures DO show the idiosyncratic facial qualities of the author in question, they are an early example of trick photography.
H P Lovecraft was shunned by boys in his early years due to his massively enlarged cranium and strange, pervasive odour. The strange smell came from the turnip and sarsparilla poultice his mother made him wear constantly. This isolation from other boys (and the necessity to sleep on a pillow shaped like a piece of cheese) made him insular and bookish. This well-read boy would one day write some of the most astonishing fiction the world has ever known, but at a cost. As his fiction became more and more popular the media clamoured for more information about him. While his publishers released a short, modest brief at his behest he pleaded with them not to release details of his strange cranial gigantism or his ant farming fetish (at the time the urge to ant-farm was not understood as readily as today and was considered a form of low-grade witchcraft). However, the public's thirst for knowledge about their newly-crowned dark king did not abate, so H P was forced to engage the services of Mr Hyman T Spunkfelcher: a well-known photographer and vaudeville illusionist. Using all of the knowledge that his twin professions gave him Spunkfelcher was able to make a photograph in which Lovecraft's freakish head appeared seated on his shoulders quite in normal proportion.
Interestingly, the knowledge of 'perspective photography' was lost when Spunkfelcher unfortunately went missing off the coast of Innsmouth in 1923 and was only rediscovered late last century, in time for Peter Jackson to make Lord Of The Rings.

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