Monday, April 19, 2010

Exciting Opportunity

I am available to assume monarchial duties in your country.

Yes, that is correct. If your country is currently lacking a titular head then you need look no further. All applications will be considered*.

As well as a commanding presence on the world stage and a prodigious sense of self-worth, installing me as your monarch will ensure that all ceremonial duties will now be more than adequately fulfilled with a minimum of fuss but a maximum of pomp and circumstance. Thanks to my background in the Public Service you may be assured that all duties of higher government will be carried out. I am able to supply my own monocle.

Applications may be sent via this website.

*No riff-raff. Yes, i'm looking at you, Iceland.

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