This evening I found myself at West Lakes shopping centre and, through a curious set of circumstances too tedious to relate here, was wearing a suit and tie. Imagine my amusement then when I found that the centre contained a small charity mugging stand to extend African women loans or some shit.
I must have passed that stand about five times but the damn chuggers must have guessed that the game was afoot and kept their distance. This was a pity, because had they approached me the following dialogue would have ensued:
Chugger: Excuse me, would you like to...
Me: Now see here my good man. I'll have you know that I already own five factories in Nigeria alone, so if I haven't given Umbopo over there a job by now it's probably because I don't damn well want to. Good day.
People ruin all my fun.
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