Random Doobings

"What do you think of Ague?"
It would be an understatement to say that this question took Goodtime Slim by surprise. He was slumped on the couch, where he'd fallen asleep whilst watching a particularly dry episode of The Smurfs. He was awoken by Captain Doobie's query and had to collect his thoughts before he could speak.

"Huh?"
Captain Doobie plonked himself down into his easy chair. "Should I go for Ague or Pleurisy?"
"What are you talking about?"
Captain Doobie shot him a whithering look. "Please. I'm trying to decide which of these old-timey diseases to catch," he told him.

Goodtime Slim was totally lost. "Why Ague or Pleurisy? Why not Dropsy?"
"Ooh!" cried Captain Doobie excitedly, scribbling it down in his notebook, "that's a good one!"
Goodtime Slim thought it was time to Sort Things Out. He found himself doing this a lot. Speaking slowly and clearly, he asked, "Why do you want to catch an old disease that no-one's ever heard of?"

Captain Doobie snorted in derision, made a complicated clicking motion with his fingers and peered down his nose at his housemate. "Because it's cool," was his reply.

"Cool?"
"Yes. Think about it: it's not just a virus, it's a retrovirus!"