Internet Stalking

The other day the subject of internet stalking came up. We all had a good laugh, but I know for a fact that internet stalking is no joke.

I knew a guy who bought one of those internet fridges and it started doing all of his shopping for him on his credit card. He'd leave in the morning and when he got home there'd be a knock on the door and a delivery service would be there with a load of groceries that the fridge thought he needed. At first he just thought it was a bit strange but he was kind-of enjoying not having to go food shopping, and then he began to get the feeling that the internet was gay. Over time he noticed that there seemed to be a lot more food showing up in his fridge that was, well, suggestive. It started with carrots and whipped cream, then some zucchinis and cucumbers and chocolate body paint, but when he came home one day to find the door of the fridge open and a 2-foot long chinese radish poking out at hip-height, he started to get a little scared.

He told his girlfriend all  about it but she just laughed, then all of a sudden all electronic traces of her dissappeared and he discovered that she'd been sold on the white slave trade via ebay.

I can't really tell you how it all ended because unfortunately the fridge surreptitiously ordered a bottle of tequila, the guy and the fridge sat down to have it out, one thing led to another, the guy got a little curious and now he and the internet are living together. It's not kinky, really, it's just one of those things.