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Austin Returns To F1

SILVERSTONE- In a bold move, Formula One will see its ranks swelled in the 2012 season by Austin. The motor manufacturer was thought defunct, having been bought by Lord Nuffield, then by Morris, then rolled into British Leyland before finally being encased in concrete and dumped in the North Sea.
However it has been learned that the former motoring giant who brought the world the 1800 Land Crab, the Kimberley and the Tasman will once again compete in every major race in a new chassis specially designed by a bloke called Sid in a shed in Northhamptonshire. Engines are more problematic, Sid explained in a press conference today, as the current requirement for 3-litre capacity has meant that all of the 2-litre Tasman straight sixes salvaged from the wreckers will have to be bored and stroked. On the plus side the formerly FWD powerplants will be able to retain their original 3-speed gearboxes, now mated to the rear wheels. The engine's transverse orientation is believed to be a first in the modern F1 era.
Drivers are yet to be announced although it is understood that Ralf Schumacher's bicycle was seen parked out the front of Sid's shed last Tuesday.
Pundits have yet to comment on the team's fortunes, other than to say that at last Lotus will have some serious competition.