Dear Gideons,
Recently, whilst on enforced sojurn to the eastern reaches of the Empire i was idly leafing through a copy of the bible that your organisation had kindly left in my hotel room. Whilst I did so, I noticed several deviations from the authentic King James Version:
1. Noah did not have a son named Spam.
2. Moses did not come running down Mount Sinai followed closely by a boulder, ducking under a juniper bush and pausing only to collect a hitherto-unmentioned fedora.
3. The Disciples did not refer to each other as 'dude'.
4. In none of the bibles I have seen was Jesus described by Paul as 'looking a bit like Kris Kristofferson'.
5. Pontius Pilate did not advise the Pharisees to 'get medieval' on any part of Jesus.
Please contact your publisher regarding these matters as soon as possible. Thank you.
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