Noarlunga: Scientists have determined that fat ladies farting on cakes in supermarkets has been found to cause cancer in laboratory-controlled environments.
The reasearch, carried out by the SlimDoobie Institute For The Sciencey Finding Out Of Stuff, found that cakes that had been farted on by fat women caused 50% more cancerous growths in laboratory smurfs. Further, their report released today found that the incidence of cancer could rise to 85% if the cake/fart mixture was left to fester for several days before consumption.
Professor Doobie, spokesman for the Institute, said: "These findings are extremely telling, and hopefully will cause supermarkets to maintain greater security around their cake sales areas."
However the findings are not without controversy. Dr Pflung of the CSIRO has no great confidence in the report. "I find it spurious in the extreme," he told ABC Radio in a telephone interview this morning, "Not only does it look completely made up, but it has not been submitted to a journal for peer review."
Institute Administrator Mr G Slim has challenged the latter remark, saying a precis of the report was published in The Picture last month. "The scientific industrial/military complex simply does not want this information to be leaked out, lest it break their choke-hold over the cake industry," he claimed.
No comments:
Post a Comment