Firstly, i'd like to thank D C White for letting me publish this on his blog. I like to write but getting stuff published is, to be frank, a bit of a pain in the Archangel Gabriel. I mean Dad managed to get two books published a while back but no-one really seems interested in giving me a go. Someone suggested the Gideons but they told me they're not taking on new material at this point in time.
Anyway, to business. Being quite high up in the religious pantheon does tend to have it's little perks and one of them is being able to test drive new cars at will. Having the same initials as Jeremy Clarkson doesn't seem to hurt either. Anyway, below are my thoughts on some of the current crop of motors on the market.
Lamborghini Gallardo: Nice seats, colours a bit garish. 4-wheel-drive helps keep it on the tarmac through the twisty bits. Not too keen on the badge though. Looks a bit like that minotaur chap.
Bugatti Veyron: I was really excited about driving this one but when I got in it was a dissapointment. Staggeringly fast but my feet kept slipping off the pedals and someone had left a Beatles CD in the player. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off so the entire test was performed to 'Strawberry Fields Forever'. I shouldn't have worn my sandals.
Dodge Viper: For a car named after the physical manifestation of Dad's archenemy this was surprisingly good. Well sorted and grunty in all the right places. The extra-large drink holders went down a treat when I stopped off at McChucks.
Ferrari 460GT: If there's one thing i've always got time for, it's a Ferrari. They're about the best things ever to come out of Italy, and i'm including the Holy Roman Church in that. I tell you, if the Pope doesn't start driving one of these soon he'll confirm my suspicions that he's a jumped-up little oik.
Porsche 911GT3: I don't know why I even bothered with this one. Porsches have no souls whatsoever and frankly, I should know. Dirty little arse-engined Nazi slot cars. It might drive well but that's no substitute for people not thinking you're a wanker.
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