A Rememberance Day To Remember

NOARLUNGA: Local veterans were thrown into chaos yesterday as their annual Rememberance Day Service went horribly, horribly wrong.

Sources say that the veterans, who had hired local resident Captain Doobie to lead them in the minute's silence, were forced to stand to attention for several hours until they all got sick of it and went home. Captain Doobie remained in place for several hours more until it started to rain.

Doobie Industries and Tupperware spokesman Mr G Slim explained in a prepared statement this morning that equipment failure was to blame.

"Captain Doobie had begun to lead the veterans in the minute's silence. At approximately 11:00:45 his watch battery died. As Captain Doobie is a stickler for punctuality this meant that he could not move until the minute was finished."

Captain Doobie's watch, reported to be a Tag Heuer purchased during a trip to Prague for forty Schmeckels, was currently getting a new battery fitted as soon as one of the correct size could be flown in from the factory in Bali.

Captain Doobie was not available for comment, with some sources claiming that he was down the pub.