I've been writing the new novel about vampires. This has led me to a startling discovery. A vampire is only active at night, eats only high-protein liquids, can only be totally destroyed by fire, only needs to feed spasmodically, regenerates hermaphroditically and generates no body heat.
We have other creatures like this on the planet, a whole kingdom of them: the Plant Kingdom. That's right, my research leads me to believe that vampires are plants, not animals. If a plant evolved to the point of intelligence, I think it would have all of the currently-accepted traits of a vampire.
Odd.
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