Random Doobings

Captain Doobie, Goodtime Slim, and the Curse Of The Jade Scorpion.

Captain Doobie walked through the door, flung the tattered remains of his shopping bags onto the dining room table and flounced down into a chair. "What a day. I've been almost hit by 3 buses, a woman dropped a vase on me from out of a window, I slipped on 7 banana peels, the shopping bags broke twice, an ostrich attacked me in the middle of Coles and I had my chiko roll stolen by a gang of maurauding possums."

Goodtime Slim looked at him over his Phantom comic. "Did you get rid of that jade scorpion like I told you?"
"............yes. I mean, of course."
"Then what's that lump in your back pocket?"
"What, this? This is..um..a...mint scorpion! That I bought at the shop, to replace the jade scorpion that I definitely got rid of."

"Mint scorpion? Well, I expect you'll be wanting to eat it, won't you?"
"Um, now?"
"Yes."
"Actually, i'm not feeling all that peckish..."
"NOW!"
Captain Doobie executed a difficult swallow, then turned into a scorpion.
"And that," said Goodtime Slim somewhat snippily, before returning to his comic, "Is what happens to people who tell fibs."