SniffIMPERTINENCE

FRANKFURT: The surprise unveiling of this year's Frankfurt Motor Show was the new Opel Corsa Caravan. The Caravan is based on the standard Opel Corsa body but is an estate wagon rather than a sedan or a 5-door hatch.

When asked about the reasoning behind building such a ludicrously small wagon Bernt Vogelphart, Opel Marketing Manager said, "We got the idea from some company or other we aparrently own in Australia. Their market research (which admittedly came to us written on a beer coaster) seemed to say that consumers wanted ridiculously small and totally useless wagons. But frankly they all wrestle crocodiles and eat dingoes down there, so if they want a wagon with the carrying capacity of an eggcup that's good enough for us."

Reporters then asked Herr Vogelphart if this also meant that Opel would begin manufacture of rear-wheel-drive passenger vehicles, as 'car'-makers aparrently do Down Under. After picking himself up off the floor and wiping the tears from his eyes Herr Vogelphart said, "Be a bit serious, please. This isn't the middle ages, you know."

Representatives from Opel's Australian dealership network "Holden" could not be reached for comment, or more importantly were reached but as soon as we said we were from Frankfurt they started giggling and impersonating Sergeant Schultz out of "Hogan's Heroes".