Unforseen Problems

The problems started roughly 15 minutes after the new vessel was commissioned. Captain Avareal, the New Republic's latest 'young gun', was standing on the bridge of the New Republic cruiser Advantageous (some days previously, the Imperial Star Destroyer Impervious). He had just overseen the arrival of the final crew compliment and was beginning the checklist for the shakedown tour when the intercom chirruped.

"Avareal here," he answered.
"Sergeant Bomin, sir," came a voice through the comlink, "Engineering. Er, we have a problem, sir."
Captain Avareal straightened his tunic. Upon recieving command of the recently-captured vessel he had resolved to tackle every crisis head on, with the can-do attitude that had got him far in the New Republic Fleet. "What is it?" he asked.

There was a pause. "Well, it's like this," Sergeant Bomin replied, "Several of the boys...would like to go to the toilet."

This took Captain Avareal by surprise. "Well, just go," he told the Sergeant blithely, "surely you don't need to ask permission for that."

"No, sir, it's just that there don't seem to be any toilets. Sir."
"What do you mean, no toilets? This is, for all intents and purposes, a Star Destroyer. There's toilets all over the place!"

"Human toilets, sir," Bomin stated politely.
Several pieces then clicked unpleasantly into place for Captain Avareal. "You're not human are you, Bomin?" he asked weakly.

"No sir," replied Bomin gruffly, "Me and all of the boys down here are Trabugs. Insectoid, sir. We find human toilets a bit difficult."

"I see." Captain Avareal seemed a little stumped. As he looked out across the bridge he could see the consoles of several communications officers light up. He turned to his second-in-command.

"Number Two," he asked, "roughly how many different races do we have on this ship?"
"Over 300, sir," said the jumior officer proudly, "Mon Mothma wanted this ship to be a beacon of hope and cross-species relations."

Captain Avareal looked again at the communications consoles, now all firmly lit up. Perhaps, he mused, it wasn't a good idea to serve all that soda pop at the launch party. All in all, he thought, discretion may be the better part of valour.

"Number Two!" he barked, "Time for a ship inspection!"
"Yes sir. Where shall we start?"
A worried look briefly crossed Avareal's face. "The escape pods, I think," he said quietly.