SYDNEY - Australian Idol winner Anthony Callea's hopes of becoming gay were dashed this morning after a special sitting of the Gay Board Of Enquiry (GayBOE) ruled his application "invalid at this time".
When questioned, GayBOE chairman Sir Percy McBottytamper stated the board had felt the number of high-profile celebrities currently involved in gayness was simply too high. "We are dealing with a high-demand situation," he told reporters on the steps of Pink House, "and we simply have too many mincing singers already."
"In today's world, being gay is a big business," said Cyril Felch, Head of the Australian Fruit Market Dating Agency, "and there's not enough room at the top. They've already got Elton, Julian Clary and Bob Downe, how many more entertainers do they need?"
In a prepared statement Anthony Callea said that he was "shocked and disheartened" by the GayBOE decision, but has vowed to maintain the pressure. Reports indicate that he was last seen being consoled by previous rejectees George Michael and Sir Cliff Richard.
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