"Oh!" said the President over the phone, "Well if you're not a real Captain, may I ask what you were doing on or about the 11th of September 2001?"
"Nothing," replied Captain Doobie, "I was unemployed."
The President smiled down the phone line, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Oh, well wasn't that convenient?"
"It was actually," replied Captain Doobie, "I live just down the road from the dole office."
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