Tales From The Chod-Bin

For those of you who don't know me, I used to work at an anonymous paint factory in Kilburn, South Australia. There's not a lot to do in sunny downtown Kilburn, it must be said, and so lunchtimes were a bit of a challenge. If you hadn't brought sandwiches to eat at your desk, a normal lunch consisted of a walk to the BP down the road (next to the naughty shop and the laundrette), and a lukewarm pasty to eat on the way back. Because Kilburn is an industrial estate, there's not a great deal to look at during the trip to the thriving shopping precinct, which gives one time to reflect on life.
On one occasion I was walking BPwards when I noticed two distinct objects lying in the gutter. As I approached, the combination struck me as odder and odder. There was an empty dildo box, and an old Frank Sinatra LP. Here, indeed, was a mystery, and I set my powers of deduction to solving it.
By the time I was on the return trip, munching a thoughtful pasty, I had it. Or at least, I had the most plausible answer I could think of under the circumstances. I could see, in my mind's eye, an enormous fat woman, doubtless a resident of Olde Kilburne Towne, driving home from the naughty shop, too eager to wait to get home before she took her new dildo out of the box (pardon the pun). As she drove, I could see her come to a decision. "Now that I've got this new dildo," she says to herself, throwing the empty box out of the window, "I won't be needing Frank Sinatra any more!"

The world can be an odd place at times.