Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Coming Soon To A Cinema Near You.

Coming Soon To A Cinema Near You.

Recentely, Spiderman 3 set a new precedent for Superhero movies, when he only beat one out of 3 villains. The other two he spoke to nicely and they changed their minds about being evil and stuff. Hopefully, this will set a trend for this summer's hottest releases:

Superman Returns A Bit More: Superman and Lex Luthor take their grievances to the arbitration comission. Lex loses, and is forced to do community service, during which he befriends some sort of spastic orphan.

Batman Begins Again: Batman and the Joker face off in the ultimate battle: a Crotchet-a-thon to raise money for the Gotham Community Church roof repair fund. Whose doily will win? But beware, the Riddler gatecrashes with a ball of illegal 2-ply!

Captain America: Captain America bends over and takes one for the team from a clone of Adolf Hitler. Then they declare their love for each other in a civil ceremony and go off to breed poodles in rural Delaware. Soundtrack by Elton John.

The Phantom 2: Kit Walker is not allowed to take Devil on the plane from Bangalla due to quarantine restrictions. The Singh Brotherhood agree to fly them both to the US in their undersea dirigibles, and announce that they are turning from generations of piracy to sea-cucumber aquafarming. The Phantom finds trouble on the docks, so he mediates a pareto-optimal solution using the new enterprise-bargaining laws.

Wonder Woman: Wonder Woman reads a book by Danielle Steel. That's about it. For 2 hours. At one point she eats a biscuit.

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