Sunday night's match at the Bartertown Thunderdome had pundits labelling it The Tussle of The Emerald Isle. To a packed cage, in the blue corner sat the Lord Of The Dance himself Michael Flatley; whilst in the red corner, resplendent in his trademark white suit sat singing sensation Daniel O'donnell. O'donnell was said to be a favorite of Aunty Entity herself, although he appeared nervous early.
Flatley came out strongly in the first round, his co-ordination and spatial awareness clearly catching O'donnell on the hop as he fully utilised his elasticised hip-ropes to vault clear over O'donnell. There were several times in the first round when it appeared that O'donnell was about to throw in the towel. However, after a brief break, O'donnell returned with a much stronger game. While Flatley clearly was still the more agile of the two O'donnell made an early leap and secured the use of the big hammer. This then forced Flatley to lunge desperately for the chainsaw.
Every sport has it's misunderstood rules, and for my mind every sport needs them. Cricket has LBW, AFL has holding-the-ball, and Thunderdome has the iffy-start chainsaw. Despite the boos and catcalls of the crowd Flatley was unable to start the deliberately detuned Husquevarna, which resulted in O'donnell delivering a crushing blow to his hip. Limping badly, Flatley was then pummelled several times by a mostly airborne O'Donnell who never looked back. Wielding the big hammer like an enormous metal fist O'Donnel reduced Flatley's body to a lifeless husk in a matter of minutes, eventially pulverising the neck to the point at which he was able to detach it and throw it into the crowd where in a touching moment it was caught by a young orphan with a speech impediment and grotty hair.
Full credit must be given to Aunty for initiating the celebrity matches here at the Thunderdome. To all those who doubted the validity of the idea I can only point out that despite the warnings and the nay-sayings, tonight two men entered, and one man left.
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